Previous Next Index Thread

Extreme Musings 6-30-96

 It's time for more Extreme Musings and what a week it's been.  After
 recovering from the disgrace of the Great American Bash and Bruno
 Sammartino receiving blood money from Billionaire Ted in Hartford, and the
 latest aggressions from the shit squad (Nash and Hall), I was pining my
 hopesof salvation on ECW's Hardcore Heaven.  I haven't written much of
 anything on my favorite promotion in light of the boredom of Fight The
 Power.  HH '96 so far has provided the best action I've seen so far from
 ECW and some of the best angles (who wouldever think of seeing the Sandman
 in tears?)
 The return of Bob Artise: I liked him.  Joe Gurtner sounds a little too
 constipated for me.  And trying to imitate Michael Buffoon was beyond
 gauche. (thanks, Jimbo!)  Well, Bob, you got your job back and got tongue
 from Missy.  I'd kill for your job.  
 Baron von Stevie: I could see the humor of impersonating the Fabs.  I got
 a major laugh from the BlueMeanie Bloods, but ranking on my favorite
 classic wrestler and the best thing about the old AWA since Stan Hansen,
 Col. DeBeers and the Road Warriors is going a little too far.  I hope that
 Fritz Von Erich comes into ECW Arena and puts the claw on you.  Maybe
 that's not such a good idea, it'll probably snow due to all that dandruff.
 Super Nova:  Come on, Novie.  You deserve better than to try and imitate
 Leif Cassidy.  Go to PCW and be a man.  At least you have a chance of
 willing a title there.
 BlueDust:  If Dusty Rhodes had an affair with Grandpa Smurf this would
 most definately be the by-product.  Even Gargamel wouldn't go near that. 
 I pray that Buh-Buh Ray Dudley sits on you, Bluedust; it would cure that
 spare tire of yours.
 The return of Peaches: I had a feeling that she would be making a comeback
 sooner or later; she's played too much of a role in ECW history to be
 forgotten.  My biggest complaint is that she could have taken her
 frustrations out on Sandman in more reasonable means, like chopping him in
 half with his cane, or throwing fire in Missy's face.  Using your son as a
 human shield and allowing Raven to brainwash him the way he brainwashed
 Cactus Jack, c'mon!!!  How un-extreme can you get?!?  
 Terry "Bam-Bam" Gordy: Obviously a take on the comeback of Jake "The
 Snake" Roberts (another of my all-time heroes), the return of the biggest
 of the Freebirds was a long time coming.  Is it really true that he was
 pronounced dead twice?  I would like to know.  
 Kimona's wardrobe: Did Tommy catch her and Beulah coming out of the powder
 room (do you REALLY need a hook?!?!?!?!)?  She was nearly
 indistinguishable from BlueDust.  Make me puke.
 Well, I gotta get outta here before half of South Philly lynches me.  As
 always, consult your clergy, next of kin and funeral directors before
 starting shit with me.
 "The Original" Telly Gonzalez, Autistic Freedom.
 "What is normal in a world where everyone is a freak?"