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It's time for more Extreme Musings and what a week it's been. After recovering from the disgrace of the Great American Bash and Bruno Sammartino receiving blood money from Billionaire Ted in Hartford, and the latest aggressions from the shit squad (Nash and Hall), I was pining my hopesof salvation on ECW's Hardcore Heaven. I haven't written much of anything on my favorite promotion in light of the boredom of Fight The Power. HH '96 so far has provided the best action I've seen so far from ECW and some of the best angles (who wouldever think of seeing the Sandman in tears?) The return of Bob Artise: I liked him. Joe Gurtner sounds a little too constipated for me. And trying to imitate Michael Buffoon was beyond gauche. (thanks, Jimbo!) Well, Bob, you got your job back and got tongue from Missy. I'd kill for your job. Baron von Stevie: I could see the humor of impersonating the Fabs. I got a major laugh from the BlueMeanie Bloods, but ranking on my favorite classic wrestler and the best thing about the old AWA since Stan Hansen, Col. DeBeers and the Road Warriors is going a little too far. I hope that Fritz Von Erich comes into ECW Arena and puts the claw on you. Maybe that's not such a good idea, it'll probably snow due to all that dandruff. Super Nova: Come on, Novie. You deserve better than to try and imitate Leif Cassidy. Go to PCW and be a man. At least you have a chance of willing a title there. BlueDust: If Dusty Rhodes had an affair with Grandpa Smurf this would most definately be the by-product. Even Gargamel wouldn't go near that. I pray that Buh-Buh Ray Dudley sits on you, Bluedust; it would cure that spare tire of yours. The return of Peaches: I had a feeling that she would be making a comeback sooner or later; she's played too much of a role in ECW history to be forgotten. My biggest complaint is that she could have taken her frustrations out on Sandman in more reasonable means, like chopping him in half with his cane, or throwing fire in Missy's face. Using your son as a human shield and allowing Raven to brainwash him the way he brainwashed Cactus Jack, c'mon!!! How un-extreme can you get?!? Terry "Bam-Bam" Gordy: Obviously a take on the comeback of Jake "The Snake" Roberts (another of my all-time heroes), the return of the biggest of the Freebirds was a long time coming. Is it really true that he was pronounced dead twice? I would like to know. Kimona's wardrobe: Did Tommy catch her and Beulah coming out of the powder room (do you REALLY need a hook?!?!?!?!)? She was nearly indistinguishable from BlueDust. Make me puke. Well, I gotta get outta here before half of South Philly lynches me. As always, consult your clergy, next of kin and funeral directors before starting shit with me. "The Original" Telly Gonzalez, Autistic Freedom. TellyGPZ@aol.com TGonzalez@earthlink.net "What is normal in a world where everyone is a freak?"