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HUMOR Digest - 30 Mar 1997 to 31 Mar 1997Triplets and Messages (both innuendo), Johnny (sexual)

Triplets (innuendo)

A woman conceived and the egg divided into three. A few months passed and as
the triplets formed, one turned to the others and said, "When I get outta
here, I'm gonna be an electrician. It's dark in here. I want some light!"
One of the others said, "I'm gonna be a plumber when I get out. It's too wet
in here!" After a while the third one spoke up. "I'm gonna be a greens
keeper when I get out and, when I do, I'm gonna kill that d*mn gopher that
keeps banging into us!"
Answering Machine Messages (clean, slight innuendo in first one)

Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya.  We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy.  Sonya likes doing it up and
down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly.  So leave a message,
and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

A is for academics, B is for beer.  One of those reasons is why we're not
here.  So leave a message.

Hi.  This is John.  If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.  If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money.  If you are my friends, you
owe me money.  If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

Hi.  I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.  Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

Please leave a message.  However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

[375 lines left ... full text available at <url:http://www.reference.com/cgi-bin/pn/go?choice=message&table=03_1997&mid=5622575&hilit=DESIGNERS+DRUG+DRUGS> ]

Article-ID: 03_1997&5589856
Score: 78
Subject: Re: Indian Intelligence, Applied World-wide